Tuesday, March 4, 2014

saying "no" politely

Most of us have been there: we get an invitation from someone, guy OR girl, that we just aren't interested in spending time with. 

For me, saying "no" is something I've had to learn and work on over time. It's never worth it just to say "yes" just to please the person- the relationship will just grow until you eventually have to cut it off.

Saying "no" can be hard, because we all know what it feels like to be let down. But setting a boundary is necessary. 

PHASE 1
If you don't want to tell the person how you feel...

LEVEL 1 {the "busy" excuse}

"I'm really busy this semester and don't have much time to hang out on weekends."


LEVEL 2 {the "priorities" excuse}

"I really need to focus on school right now." 


LEVEL 3 {the "family/friends" excuse}

"My family is most important to me right now and I need to be spending time at home"

OR 

"A friend/family member needs all my attention right now." 


If none of those work, move to...
PHASE 2
If you DO want to tell the person how you feel...

LEVEL 4 {clarify the relationship}

"I enjoy talking to you at school/work but don't want to take our relationship outside of here."


LEVEL 5 {identify your differences}

"I think you're a nice/cool/interesting person, but we're not interested in the same things and therefore I don't think we'd get along outside of the school/work setting." 


LEVEL 6 {just say no}

"I'm not really interested, but thanks for the offer." 



As the levels move up, these get "harder" to say. Just go with what you're comfortable with. But if you get to level 6 and the person will still not leave you alone, that is just called CREEPINESS and it's time for the silent treatment!


xx Signe

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