Thursday, January 30, 2014

the victim isn't the perpetrator.

I started gym this semester (ew) and my gym teacher made a huge deal about how we need to lock our stuff up. 

Yes, of course we need to lock our stuff up. It's common sense. 

But the teacher went on and on about how if we get stuff stolen "it's all our fault" and she "will have no sympathy." Never ONCE was there a mention of "Hey! Don't steal! It's a crime!" 

Similarly, I see constant magazine articles about the dangers of sexting, advising girls never to send inappropriate photos. Once again, sending inappropriate photos? Common sense!  However, I've NEVER seen anything that told guys not to spread around the pictures. We hear countless stories about how girls got their reputation damaged due to one leaked photo. The story is about the girl and what she did, not about the guy that leaked it. 

To add to that, girls are always told to be careful at parties. In health class, we get warned that "guys might put something in your drink and take advantage of you!" But why isn't the teacher also telling the guys not to treat girls horribly? 

There's all this talk of precaution everywhere, but adolescents are never taught the basics anymore. I feel like the message from society isn't "don't kidnap people," it's "carry pepper spray." 

Of course I will lock up my stuff, not send inappropriate photos, and be careful at parties. It's common sense. 

But as much as young people need to be cautioned to do these things, someone needs to be telling the perpetrators of these crimes that what they're doing is NOT ok. You'd think that people would know that stealing isn't ok, but when emphasis is put on the person getting stolen from, then it distracts from the stealer and they don't feel so bad. We need to approach these types of crimes from both ends of the perspective. Hopefully, then, locking up your stuff AND not stealing will BOTH be regarded as common sense. 

Instead of teaching people to hide from crime, why don't we teach people not to be criminals?

xx Signe


  1. I completely agree. We have gotten to the point where the mentality is to blame victims, not the perpetrator. It's so obnoxious because it seems like girls are usually on the receiving end of this mentality. Yes, it's good to tell people to be careful, but by doing this, we have left out teaching people to just be decent people.

  2. This is such a great post! I understand exactly where you're coming from! By doing this people are just accepting that it happens so YOU have to be careful if/when it does. The world is a crazy place. Lovely blog by the way! New follower! (:

    Kelly x

  3. So very true. We were talking about this the other day in class. We're taught to always be on guard, rather than tell trouble-making people to stop being troublemakers! Crazy!

  4. What a great post! I'm guilty of this I must admit. But the way you put it just opened my eyes.

    Yasmeen x

  5. Wow I couldn't agree more! I was thinking the same thing not that much time ago when my boyfriend bought me a pepper spray so that I could be safe when I go out with girls to grab a drink without him. I wish we lived in a society where we shouldn't be afraid to go out of house. Or, for example, as I am working at a retail shop that closes at only 22:00, I am home at about midnight and it is actually very scary for me to go home as I live in the quiet area of the city & there is nobody on the streets!

  6. 100% agree. Never really thought about this that much, but you couldn't have said it better! Schools/teachers/society really need to start teaching how to stop the bad things, so the warnings seem like more common sense to people.

  7. I'm amazed by this mentality and the way it's promoted in schools. When I was in high school our gym teachers had the same attitude; you locked everything up or it was your fault if it got stolen. The sad thing is didn't diminish theft at all. It just made the thieves more crafty.