Thursday, May 23, 2013

Fifteen

My 15th birthday is fast approaching! (June 9, to be exact)

Usually the age I'm turning seems so old, but ehh, 15 still has a young vibe to it...

I always assumed 15 was supposed to be like the song Fifteen by Taylor Swift, but it's about your freshman year of high school and I'm turning Fifteen two days after it's over....



But now that I'm actually going to be 15, my maturity level is actually a lot higher than the song suggests 15 year old girls have. I think that's because I've already experienced the worst of my adolescent years (and possibly my life. I don't even know how I can experience anything worse in my adult years.) Maybe I haven't, but I feel like I've already figured a lot of stuff out. 

This is my current commentary on the song Fifteen: 

"Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say, 'you know I haven't seen you around before.'" This was not me on my first day of high school. Isn't that illegal???

"Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them." Sorry, but I honestly wouldn't believe them. I'd take it as a compliment, but I would highly doubt most 15 year old boys would have any idea what "love" really means.

"Cause when you're fifteen, feelin' like there's nothing to figure out." Ok, I'm not that stupid. Yes, I've already figured a lot of stuff out about life. But based on how much I've changed in the past few years and what I had to go through to figure it out, I know I have a LONG way to go before I've figured out everything.

"But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team." Right now, I'm honestly way past that stage. In middle school, all that mattered was a guy liking me. As of right now, I can say that I have a lot of other things on my mind that have to do more with my future than guys. 

"When all you wanted, was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now..." I can actually relate to this SO much. But when I was like, 12. I just wanted someone to LIKE me all throughout middle school. I wish I could have just told myself to enjoy being young. Of course I know it would be nice to be "wanted." But I know it's definitely not the most important thing. 

"Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine..." Ok this is just no. I haven't had a boyfriend yet, but when I do, I'm going to doing it because I like him and for dating experience, not MARRYING him! Once again, this was me in like 6th grade. I seriously thought I was "in love" and was dead-set on fate bringing me and this guy together to get married. 

Basically, this is all true of me in middle school. Lines like "look before you fall" and "time will heal everything" I think are prevalent throughout life. The first time I heard this song I was 10. I assumed this song would be me when I was 15 and kind of planned to brace myself....but now that I'm actually going to be 15, I've realized I'm already past all of this. 

Of course, I have no idea what the future is going to bring. People always talk about how "horrible" high school is, I read about how people get "bullied" and everybody "finds themselves"...when I heard these things before entering high school, I was like no no no!!!! I thought I just went through this!!!! Freshman year was a rough year, but not for any of those reasons. Now that it's over and I'm actually going to be 15...I just can't relate to this song at all. 

Did this song speak true of being 15 or your freshman year?

xx Signe







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